mothers day
here are the options i considered:
1. jewellery (again)
2. SKII skincare giftset
3. Crabtree & Evelyn Rose scented bath set
4. Cai qin concert ticket
5. Spa session
6. Kenwood/ Kitchenaid mixer
7. Homemade Housework Coupons (this idea only lasted 4 seconds)
in the end i kept procrastinating till it was MOTHERS DAY. the day started on a very bad note. not because i still havent gotten her a present, as far as it seemed. BUT. women tend to say something and mean another, so maybe she was blowing her top cos she didnt awake to a special MOTHERSDAYsurprise. i fed Wacky (my dog) his breakfast, so when he pooed my mom asked Sherman to do the cleaning up. He did it rather reluctantly, and made a very bad choice to ask my mom why she couldn't "open up" the plastic bag for him to dispose the newspaper-wrapped poo into. AHHH. the mines were laid. and that idiot brother of mine carelessly stepped on one shortly after, resulting in an unexpected explosion. i say unexpected because it was 8am, mothers day. you must be wondering what exactly he did to piss her off. he was the last to leave the house but forgot to shut the door. my mom started to rant, in chinese as usual. for the ease of relating what was said, especially for those lousy people out there who are bad at chinese, i shall loosely translate it to singlish. (if you're malay or indian and are extremely offended for being called lousy, im sorry but the lousiness doesnt apply to you in this case. if you're not malay or indian and you're reading this rubbish, im glad you have so much time onhand.)
mom: why you never close the door??
brother: oh. forgot. (turns to shut the door)
mom: wa! liddat also can forget! just dont bother right?? dont even need the key, just pull the door also too difficult for you ah? so lazy!
brother: i just forgot.. why would i not want to close the door?
mom: cos you're lazy! i know you were very unhappy that i asked you to clear the shit. getting from bad to worse! so lazyyy!! still ask me why i never help you open the plastic bag ah? waa!! everything must do for you ah? i ask you to clean, must help you take newspaper, help you take plastic bag then hold the plastic bag for you to throw ah? you just stand there to pick up the poo and throw it into the bag ah? like that why not i do it instead of asking you to do it? so lazyyy!! wa!!!
by then we were already in the car, on our way to church. mom was driving cos i didnt want to. i was seated next to my mom, my brother at the back. i looked at my mom, wondering if she was annoyed that it was mothers day and i left her to do the 'chauffering'. she turned to me and glared at me. terrified of whatever calamity that was going to fall on me, i turned away quickly.
halfway during service, i was bored. i thought it would be a good idea to make small talk, to keep in her good books. (HEH. this works. but only sometimes.)second reason was to 'test waters'.
me: you wore this outfit to church last year too. just with another necklace, the blue butterfly one.
mom: why you look at me just now? (glares)
weather forecast still stormy. i turned away quickly for the second time, glad that we were supposed to remain silent during service. but service had to end. when it did.. (immediately)
mom: why you look at me just now?
me: no la. i was wondering if you were angry at me also.
mom: why would i be angry with you?
me: cos i din want to drive and asked you to do it.
mom: i know you're lying! you were unhappy that i was scolding sherman right? was i scolding him too loudly? was i like a bitch? you were very unhappy with it right? i know!
me: no, i..
bro (seated on my left, my mom on my right): so are we having lunch together?
me: i dont know la.. ask her.
mom: DONT CALL ME LATER. im going off. after bible study you go back home on your own.
she then stormed off.
...
thankfully by dinner things were back to normal. i offered to pay for dinner. my stupid brother asked: HUH? why are you paying? OHHH~here we go again!
but yeah. i paid for dinner anyway. my brother, after getting reprimanded by my mom for not showing any concern or appreciation, still did not offer to split the bill with me. not that i care. anyway we had dinner at balithai, cos lao beijing and lingzhi were FULLY BOOKED. the bill amounted to less than 200 dollars, so it was affordable i guess.
hope everyone else had a smoother sailing mothers day!
if you feel disgusted/nauseated when you hear of people talking about peeing/shitting/burping/farting, you may wish to stop reading this post now.-----
OMG. this is totally random and disgusting but i have to add this. i just farted and it smelled of durian. AMAZING. may it have been caused by the fact that i ate quite alot of durian the past two days? i think my fart just sparked my craving for durian. HAHAHAHAHA.
1. jewellery (again)
2. SKII skincare giftset
3. Crabtree & Evelyn Rose scented bath set
4. Cai qin concert ticket
5. Spa session
6. Kenwood/ Kitchenaid mixer
7. Homemade Housework Coupons (this idea only lasted 4 seconds)
in the end i kept procrastinating till it was MOTHERS DAY. the day started on a very bad note. not because i still havent gotten her a present, as far as it seemed. BUT. women tend to say something and mean another, so maybe she was blowing her top cos she didnt awake to a special MOTHERSDAYsurprise. i fed Wacky (my dog) his breakfast, so when he pooed my mom asked Sherman to do the cleaning up. He did it rather reluctantly, and made a very bad choice to ask my mom why she couldn't "open up" the plastic bag for him to dispose the newspaper-wrapped poo into. AHHH. the mines were laid. and that idiot brother of mine carelessly stepped on one shortly after, resulting in an unexpected explosion. i say unexpected because it was 8am, mothers day. you must be wondering what exactly he did to piss her off. he was the last to leave the house but forgot to shut the door. my mom started to rant, in chinese as usual. for the ease of relating what was said, especially for those lousy people out there who are bad at chinese, i shall loosely translate it to singlish. (if you're malay or indian and are extremely offended for being called lousy, im sorry but the lousiness doesnt apply to you in this case. if you're not malay or indian and you're reading this rubbish, im glad you have so much time onhand.)
mom: why you never close the door??
brother: oh. forgot. (turns to shut the door)
mom: wa! liddat also can forget! just dont bother right?? dont even need the key, just pull the door also too difficult for you ah? so lazy!
brother: i just forgot.. why would i not want to close the door?
mom: cos you're lazy! i know you were very unhappy that i asked you to clear the shit. getting from bad to worse! so lazyyy!! still ask me why i never help you open the plastic bag ah? waa!! everything must do for you ah? i ask you to clean, must help you take newspaper, help you take plastic bag then hold the plastic bag for you to throw ah? you just stand there to pick up the poo and throw it into the bag ah? like that why not i do it instead of asking you to do it? so lazyyy!! wa!!!
by then we were already in the car, on our way to church. mom was driving cos i didnt want to. i was seated next to my mom, my brother at the back. i looked at my mom, wondering if she was annoyed that it was mothers day and i left her to do the 'chauffering'. she turned to me and glared at me. terrified of whatever calamity that was going to fall on me, i turned away quickly.
halfway during service, i was bored. i thought it would be a good idea to make small talk, to keep in her good books. (HEH. this works. but only sometimes.)second reason was to 'test waters'.
me: you wore this outfit to church last year too. just with another necklace, the blue butterfly one.
mom: why you look at me just now? (glares)
weather forecast still stormy. i turned away quickly for the second time, glad that we were supposed to remain silent during service. but service had to end. when it did.. (immediately)
mom: why you look at me just now?
me: no la. i was wondering if you were angry at me also.
mom: why would i be angry with you?
me: cos i din want to drive and asked you to do it.
mom: i know you're lying! you were unhappy that i was scolding sherman right? was i scolding him too loudly? was i like a bitch? you were very unhappy with it right? i know!
me: no, i..
bro (seated on my left, my mom on my right): so are we having lunch together?
me: i dont know la.. ask her.
mom: DONT CALL ME LATER. im going off. after bible study you go back home on your own.
she then stormed off.
...
thankfully by dinner things were back to normal. i offered to pay for dinner. my stupid brother asked: HUH? why are you paying? OHHH~here we go again!
but yeah. i paid for dinner anyway. my brother, after getting reprimanded by my mom for not showing any concern or appreciation, still did not offer to split the bill with me. not that i care. anyway we had dinner at balithai, cos lao beijing and lingzhi were FULLY BOOKED. the bill amounted to less than 200 dollars, so it was affordable i guess.
hope everyone else had a smoother sailing mothers day!
if you feel disgusted/nauseated when you hear of people talking about peeing/shitting/burping/farting, you may wish to stop reading this post now.-----
OMG. this is totally random and disgusting but i have to add this. i just farted and it smelled of durian. AMAZING. may it have been caused by the fact that i ate quite alot of durian the past two days? i think my fart just sparked my craving for durian. HAHAHAHAHA.
posted by lorna at
10:27 AM
0 Comments
